movement

I am tired these days.Theres been a lot going on.Till now i've been mostly stoping things.Actually i stoped them quite some time ago...and stayed there...but without movement.I've stoped.and been in the period of waiting.Waiting for what?Waiting for life to direct me.and the more i stayed this way-more frustrated i got...being somwhere in between.I realised that i've been resisting to many things.Still participating in polarity,but only the other side of the coin{by resisting}.i wanted 'easier' way...wanted 'shorter' way..but there is no such a thing,is it?for me was ''easier'' to just stop participation then turning it into self -expresion.I move--but still somtimes mind moves...comes in waves...its a struggle.Before i thoght:mind STOP=movement occurs.but no-after mind STOP-thers point in between if i dont mov e....and is frustrating if staying there.Its actually me directing myself fro m there[[which till now i was not quite 'succesfull' at]].Now everything got to be s-movement, s-expresion--or instead being in this point in between-where i dont want to find msyelf again.All this time before, wherever i got that 'stuck' feeling-was actually me wiating for life to move me,to direct me-instead of me doing it myself.