neighbour

just when i thought it would be hrd for anyone-to couse some reaction within me..it seems that me neighbour does 'pretty good job' at it.im grateful for him..for he just showed me (without him even knowing),how much anger i still have within me.i met him f ew times,he seems like a quiet guy.but actually he is kinda guy that goes out,drink all day,come back home,and project his anger towards his wife.if you ask how the hel do i know all this..well my walls are pretty thin,and he is very loud when he gets pissed of.usually he comes home very late-just when im about to fall a sleep..and always finds reason to yell at his wife.his kid then start crying..and i end u p frustrated about all situation.he's complaining about little things,blaming his wife,for his ''unsatisfaction'' with life.what gets me is tht all these thing that i see in him..somehow i'm allowing within me..as he is just reflecting what i've accepted and allowed in this world nd within me.so i tryed applying s-forgivness standing as him..even though i have a lot of me own 'issues' to deal with.as i 'calmed down',obviously it worked for me..and not much for him,as he continued doing same things,over and over again.well,it must have to do with all drinking thing..being consumed by alcohol,and let all supressed anger out of him.its strange what alcohol do to ppl,many consume it just to let go,to try to forget,and leave 'problems' behind.not realising there is no 'running away',evrything must be faced and dealt with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to feel anger towards my neighbour-blaming him for cousing anger within me-not realising that it is me suppressed anger that he is reflecting- that which I have accepted and allowed within me.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that the reason I feel frustrated towards him is not becouse of him,but becouse of me own suppressed anger that i have accepted and allowed to exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my neighbour for projecting anger towards his wife by yelling at her.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a thought of me projecting my anger towards my neighbour.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed anger to exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress anger within me-fearing that if i am to express it-i might hurt sombody.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide anger within me,resisting it,judging it as a 'bad' emotion-as somthing that should not be expressed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually have myself believe that there exist no anger within me anymore-that i've peeled of layers within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for the anger within me,instead of taking responsibility for myself by being s-honest in every moment of every breath.