sleep

Till now I slept mostly 5-6 hours per day with intention to gradually come to the point where I would sleep max. 4 hours per day.Today I just did that and woke up at 4 am but made a decision that while being awake do nothing but focus on my breath and be silent and still within myself,and stay away from anything wich would entertain the mind such as watching TV or anything else for that matter.So I woke up and start focusing on my breath,and stoping all thoughts that would arise.Here in all silence there was this shiny clock in my room which started reminding me of the time and how slowly it was going.Than sence of 'bordom' started kicking in,thoughts started intensifying re'minding me how long time this is to stay focused on the breath and do nothing,so I started being 'tempted' to turn on Tv or do somthing to stop 'bordom'.But as everything was quiet and I was kinda laying on the sofa i realized that I would be falling a sleep if I don't get up and start moving,so I decided to write my journal until the sun rise so that I could go out for a walk in park.When walking in the nature thats the time where I could easily be silent and still within myself.I AM NATURE.I AM BREATH.I AM EARTH.I AM HERE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be 'bored' instead of realising that bordom is a state of mind and is not real so it is just the mind trying to 'lure' me into thinking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let thoughts popping up in my head trying to bring curiosity within me to follow them and do something which is defined as 'fun'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the 'bordom' will get to me and that I'll do something which is defined as 'fun' instead of trusting myself that I am here as the breath and that nothing moves me or direct me but me directing myself and me moving myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the clock in my room distract me by showing me the time and letting me lose focus of my breath.